Perhaps not quite yet

Okay, okay. I didn't start the swiping apps right away. Hell, I didn't even know they existed. I did what any normal, spiraling out of control woman would do...I looked up an old flame. So typical, so expected. However I took it a step further, I actually entertained the possibility of happily ever after with it! Never mind the past, what happened back in the day (and boy, THAT was a doozy. He was probably a narcissist as well but the pathological liar really out shined everything else. Granted he had been through quite a bit, real or imagined, but dang...I could sure pick'm). We had our rendezvous, talked about a "future". I still remember seeing him for the first time, immediately thinking "what the fuck happened to that good looking kid?" B had gotten fat, buzzed his hair, and well, gotten fucking fat. But as soon as he opened his mouth and spoke my name, I was mush. He even kissed the same, kiss me the same way he did when we were only 19. I felt like I was home.

Alas, this was purely fantasy. Frankly the worst fantasy of my soon to be divorced years. Hold on. Wait. There is one that will be worse. Completely. That one will have to be more in detail because it was the one which pushed me over the edge into complete and total slutdom.

Anyway, B and I did not work out, to put it mildly. Looking back, after recovering from the shock, my golden nugget was simple. I am single, childless, and mother fucking hot.

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