Well, that was fun
In a matter of months I had done well, nearly equaling the number of conquests in my 20s but the bevy of beautiful boys coming through my door was growing hollow. (Insert joke here) I suppose it was never anything but hollow but it was fun. But the fun quickly waned and the hollow filled the space entirely. I didn't give up easily, tried my best to maintain it. To not avail. I wanted more. I needed something more. I ached for that elusive thing I hadn't felt yet. Not love...fuck that. I had been "in love". My whole life I had been the one hopelessly in love with some guy. Spent my time yearning for the reciprocation of said love. To no avail. I was the one without power because I was always the one who was more in love than the object of my affection.
To make matters worse, I had learned my ex (husband, not aforementioned ex loser bf) had become serious with a girl. Yep, that pretty much put a nail in my coffin at the time. Obviously, I was still unable to make the clean break for him. Honestly a "clean" break was never my forte. The messy break was my wheelhouse though. I had a certain panache with the messy break not rivaled by many. Nothing to be proud of, I know. I've never found the skill in just walking away, especially if I was emotional invested. I wanted, no, needed that person to understand the hurt. This all has no logic whatsoever, of course, but a wounded animal rarely acts logically.
With the new aim of finding the one, rather "A" one, I ditched Tindering and went back to what I thought would be a more stable pool. Yep, you guessed it, back to Plenty O' Fish! Throw in a dash of Zoosk and I was ready to find the guy who was going to love me. Done were my days of the revolving door of hot young guys, me dictating my sex life, and enjoying girl time with my friends. (and yes, that's foreshadowing, I definitely wasn't done with all that!)
In my time away from these more serious dating sites I found things had changed. Frankly, they were all just a more wordy version of Tinder now. Guys were ALL jumping into the freaky hook up. And I mean every single one. No joke. But guys!!! I am here for looovee...come on! The universe was not going to let me settle down. I had more dudes to conquer. POF was especially interesting at this point. At first I rebuffed the drooling horn dogs. No, no, I was not looking for "fun". That's what they would call it. Fun. Very rarely would a guy come out and say he was just looking to get laid. I took to responding; "checkers are fun" or "picnics are fun". Guys were not assumed. Then I just said fuck it. If the universe keeps throwing these sex crazed guys at me what am I suppose to do? So, I rolled with it. Mostly I just chatted but still entertained the occasional hottie. Then it happened. The weirdest kink story I had ever heard. It sent me into a shock which stopped me in my tracks. You ready? Here it is...
Looking through profiles on POF can be rather tedious. LOTS of daaammmmn, spoken in my best Chris Tucker voice, so not in a good way. When you see an attractive photo coupled with a half intelligent profile, it's similar to winning pull tabs at the bar on a Tuesday. Very fucking rare. So, I found one. Not a young guy, a man closer to my age. Grown up job, seemingly well rounded. Taller than me, dark hair, cute smile, light eyes. Jackpot! I sent the best introductory hello I could muster and anxiously awaited a reply. And boom! I got one. Now I cannot recall how the beginning of our conversation went, not one bit. You will understand why in a sec...
Quickly we turned to flirtatious talk. I mean, this guy was good looking. I had no problem with it at all. Right up until I did. It was innocent enough. "Are you an open minded person?" Sure. "How open minded?" I can say confidently, pretty open minded. Why? "I want to tell you about something my ex wife and I used to do that really turned me on." Okay... "We would watch our son masturbate and it would really turn us on, sometimes we would actually play with each while we watched."
......Wait, WHAT THE FUCK? Yep, folks, I kid you not. The story he told was more involved and drawn out but pretty much that was it. I remember reading that message over and over, thinking he's kidding...right? It's a test. No way this is real. But going over it again and again I realized it was, in fact, his legit story. Real? Maybe not but it obviously turned him on. So, what do I do? I baited this motherfucker (HA!) into telling me more. I did my level best to convince him I, too, thought this was hot and would love (blech!) to experience this. Where could this possibly go? Yeah, he wasn't done.
According to him, he hadn't been with a lot of women in his life but...had had one very important partner in his formative years. Have you guessed yet?? Apparently his loving mother hadn't wanted him to be distracted by the fairer sex and the quest of their attention during his school years, so she took it upon herself to please her son sexually....told ya, motherfucker. Yup, that was my end point. I had heard enough. Sick fuck. I didn't believe him until he argued the validity of the practice with me, at length.
That is a true fucking story. I saved the conversation for a long ass time just to show people who didn't believe me.
That was it. I was out. Sorry POF. That's some nasty shit.
To make matters worse, I had learned my ex (husband, not aforementioned ex loser bf) had become serious with a girl. Yep, that pretty much put a nail in my coffin at the time. Obviously, I was still unable to make the clean break for him. Honestly a "clean" break was never my forte. The messy break was my wheelhouse though. I had a certain panache with the messy break not rivaled by many. Nothing to be proud of, I know. I've never found the skill in just walking away, especially if I was emotional invested. I wanted, no, needed that person to understand the hurt. This all has no logic whatsoever, of course, but a wounded animal rarely acts logically.
With the new aim of finding the one, rather "A" one, I ditched Tindering and went back to what I thought would be a more stable pool. Yep, you guessed it, back to Plenty O' Fish! Throw in a dash of Zoosk and I was ready to find the guy who was going to love me. Done were my days of the revolving door of hot young guys, me dictating my sex life, and enjoying girl time with my friends. (and yes, that's foreshadowing, I definitely wasn't done with all that!)
In my time away from these more serious dating sites I found things had changed. Frankly, they were all just a more wordy version of Tinder now. Guys were ALL jumping into the freaky hook up. And I mean every single one. No joke. But guys!!! I am here for looovee...come on! The universe was not going to let me settle down. I had more dudes to conquer. POF was especially interesting at this point. At first I rebuffed the drooling horn dogs. No, no, I was not looking for "fun". That's what they would call it. Fun. Very rarely would a guy come out and say he was just looking to get laid. I took to responding; "checkers are fun" or "picnics are fun". Guys were not assumed. Then I just said fuck it. If the universe keeps throwing these sex crazed guys at me what am I suppose to do? So, I rolled with it. Mostly I just chatted but still entertained the occasional hottie. Then it happened. The weirdest kink story I had ever heard. It sent me into a shock which stopped me in my tracks. You ready? Here it is...
Looking through profiles on POF can be rather tedious. LOTS of daaammmmn, spoken in my best Chris Tucker voice, so not in a good way. When you see an attractive photo coupled with a half intelligent profile, it's similar to winning pull tabs at the bar on a Tuesday. Very fucking rare. So, I found one. Not a young guy, a man closer to my age. Grown up job, seemingly well rounded. Taller than me, dark hair, cute smile, light eyes. Jackpot! I sent the best introductory hello I could muster and anxiously awaited a reply. And boom! I got one. Now I cannot recall how the beginning of our conversation went, not one bit. You will understand why in a sec...
Quickly we turned to flirtatious talk. I mean, this guy was good looking. I had no problem with it at all. Right up until I did. It was innocent enough. "Are you an open minded person?" Sure. "How open minded?" I can say confidently, pretty open minded. Why? "I want to tell you about something my ex wife and I used to do that really turned me on." Okay... "We would watch our son masturbate and it would really turn us on, sometimes we would actually play with each while we watched."
......Wait, WHAT THE FUCK? Yep, folks, I kid you not. The story he told was more involved and drawn out but pretty much that was it. I remember reading that message over and over, thinking he's kidding...right? It's a test. No way this is real. But going over it again and again I realized it was, in fact, his legit story. Real? Maybe not but it obviously turned him on. So, what do I do? I baited this motherfucker (HA!) into telling me more. I did my level best to convince him I, too, thought this was hot and would love (blech!) to experience this. Where could this possibly go? Yeah, he wasn't done.
According to him, he hadn't been with a lot of women in his life but...had had one very important partner in his formative years. Have you guessed yet?? Apparently his loving mother hadn't wanted him to be distracted by the fairer sex and the quest of their attention during his school years, so she took it upon herself to please her son sexually....told ya, motherfucker. Yup, that was my end point. I had heard enough. Sick fuck. I didn't believe him until he argued the validity of the practice with me, at length.
That is a true fucking story. I saved the conversation for a long ass time just to show people who didn't believe me.
That was it. I was out. Sorry POF. That's some nasty shit.
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